Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Another whine...Sorry

Let me ask you a question.  How much can the human mind actually take?  I mean, at what point do you just finally say "screw it, I'm done!"  I imagine that the answer is different for different people.  Some people have the patience of Job and handle every nasty little indignity that comes their way with a smile on their face and a song in their heart.  While others find themselves either at the bottom of a bottle or at the top of building.

It remains unclear where I am at the moment.  I feel like at the end of my rope.  It is never a good sign when you wake up in the morning and, instead of thinking I hope something good happens today, you think to yourself I hope nothing bad happens today.  Now, contrary to what you may have observed in this blog or on my facebook page, I am generally a happy guy.  I'm not blessed with tremendous wealth or a big house or athletically gifted children that will one day be able to buy me a mansion with their endorsement deal money from Nike or Gatorade.  But I really don't care about that.  I like the house I'm in and my kids are AWESOME.  I don't need anything more than a happy and healthy family and enough money to provide for them, to be happy.

The problem is that, as you may have read in an earlier post here, nothing seems to be going right for us and lately it has taken a turn for the worse.  Last week I thought that we were turning a corner.  I had, what seemed to be, a sure lock on a good job, the kids were finally over the seemingly endless coughs and colds, and it felt as if we were going to get our lives back.  Kristen could go back to doing what she wants to do which is be a stay at home mom and I could go back to providing for my family.  Then, on Thursday of last week, the twins caught a throw up bug.  Max followed suit on Sunday night and if that weren't enough my father-in-law was sent to the hospital with bleeding in his brain.  This is a condition called an AVM and it is so rare in a 79 year old man that there may be medical papers written about him. 

Now, any of you that know my wife Kristen know how close she is to her father.  She, already had the weight of the world on her shoulders and now this is more than she should be able to take.  She is handling things as best she can but put yorself in her place.  How do you think you would hold up?  So it has been very difficult to watch the woman that I love carry the wait of this on her already over burdened back.

Now, in case you are wondering, I love my father-in-law.  He is the most caring and generous man that I know.  Sure he is a pain in the ass but that is part of his charm.  I am very worried about him and I want nothing more than for him to be back to his old self.  Whether it be warning me to put new batteries in my smoke detectors or reminding me to get the oil in my car changed, I want him to get well. 

So I'll ask again, how much can the human mind actually take? 

If you figure it out will you let me know?

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