Sunday, January 20, 2013

I Have Nothing to Say

It is my understanding that the purpose of writing this blog is to get people to read it and as a result they will learn about NF and Max and as a direct result of THAT they will donate a few shekels to NF Inc Northeast and help to make Max's, and every other person afflicted with this indiscriminate disorder's, life better.

It sounds simple enough, right?  All I have to do is sit down once a day and bang out a few hundred words filled with humor and intelligence and witty observation and people will say to themselves "My what a smart and funny young man.  His cause seems worthy of some of my hard earned money". The problem is that I really have nothing to say.  Since starting this blog I have developed a real admiration and respect for the people that write blogs everyday.  Everyday they have something to write about, some opinion to express or some story to tell.  I got nuthin'

Don't get me wrong I think about it everyday but the thought of stringing together enough coherent sentences to make it worthwhile for anyone to read seems way harder than running a marathon.  I think about all the different blogs that I see and it seems like I am not even smart enough to rip off their ideas. 

I could go on a rant about how tired I am of hearing about Lance Armstrong and as disgusting as I find him I also find Oprah Winfrey equally as reprehensible for trying to turn her interview with him into a two part extravaganza that will get people to watch her network. (by the way, has anyone told her that she is no longer relevant?)   I could opine about Notre Dame's Manti Te'o and how I could care less of whether he had a girlfriend or not.  Somebody should tell him that most people stop claiming to have imaginary girlfriends sometime around the 10th grade.  ("She's from Canada.  You wouldn't know her")

Maybe I could breakdown the AFC Championship game and what the Patriots have to do to get past the Ravens. Here's my analysis.  If the Patriot's offense can score more points than Baltimore I can virtually guarantee you that they will return to the Super Bowl.  That is my mortal lock.  Go right now and bet the house on that.

If sports isn't you thing, maybe you would want to read my reviews of current movies.  Well, I have been to the movies exactly once in the last 6 months.  A couple of weeks ago I went to see Les Miserables and I loved it.  I sobbed like a 12 year old school girl and I will NOT apologize for it!  Anyone who doesn't get at least a little misty when Anne Hathaway sings "I Dreamed a Dream" has no soul.  My advice to you though, don't expect a real uplifting film.  This is a beautiful but long and very very sad film.  By the way Sasha Baron Cohen was badly cast in this.

If sports or cinema doesn't float your boat then maybe a list.  I see a lot of blogs with lists.  Best this or worst that.  I think it has something to do with lists being easy and quick to read.  OK.  I'll give that a shot.  Anyone who has spent anytime around me has heard me refer to many things as "The Devil's Work"  These are things so heinous and such a blight on human existence that they could only have come from the Satan himself.  So here is a top ten list of things that are the Devil's Work:

10 Speed Bumps
 9 The Real Housewives of Anywhere
 8 Microbrewery Beer
 7 The Beatles ( C'mon...The most overrated band in the history of music)
 6 The Westboro Baptist Church
 5 Pumpkin Flavored Anything
 4 Twitter
 3 Grapes with Seeds
 2 Brownies with Nuts
 1 There's Something About Mary

Or maybe I just ask for donations.  Please donate to NF Inc. Northeast.  If you do you will feel better about yourself and good things will come to you.  You will feel better, your family will love you more, your friends will respect you, you will be regular and all of your hopes and dreams will be within your grasp.  How can you pass that up??? I said...I got nuthin' to say.

Til next time...

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